2026-01-24.4_hope & optimism

there is a sensation, a feeling on the horizon that i haven’t been witness to in this intensity for a long time, if ever: hope & optimism.

i see/feel glimpses of them in quiet moments, when i would usually be worrying about what task to do next or about the challenges of the past, present & future. this is a good omen.

i say i’ve never witnessed this type/intensity of hope & optimism before because it feels qualitatively different this time. if before i had an extremely limited view of & knowledge about history & where it might be going (& who makes it), now i’ve arrived at a point where i have a very rough sketch of how things actually stand (& move). and comparing this sketch with m(y) previous view, from the perspective native to the previous view, the perspective that developed alongside that view, which is also the perspective i’m most familiar with, having held it for a majority of m(y) life – from that perspective* there is so much more cause for hopelessness & pessimism than before.

but instead, there is hope & optimism on the horizon.

i can still feel the old perspective asserting/stating its version of things and denouncing any hope & optimism as naive and ‘irrational’. trying to pull m(e) back into the cynicism it thinks is more ‘realistic’ and most of all safer. but for the first time that i can remember, it’s not working consistently anymore. because not only has m(y) view/sketch changed a whole lot in the recent past, m(y) perspective is catching up. and that changes things. it feels like it’s in its beginning phases, but even just the prospect, the horizon is enough to feel something considerable is happening to/within me.

even though i still recoil from (believing) it more often than not, the thought & feeling that “everything can and will get better” genuinely exists in my body now. and i doubt it’ll go away soon. unless i bury it, which is like i said still my habitual reaction, but when i pause for a moment to reflect, it’s not what i want to do anymore.

the seed of something new has been planted and is starting to grow. it’s probably been here for a while, i’m just now becoming aware of its peeking out of the soil. now is the time to nurture it and watch it/me flourish.

*a very rough name for this perspective could be: cultural liberal with an uncritical position towards capitalist / market economics